The Knowledge of The Womb
WHAT ONE MAY FEEL UNDER LSD-25 OR PSILOCYBINE General notes on LSD-25
Pharmocodynamic Activity of LSD-25
GENERAL NOTES ON LSD-25
§1 The pharmacodynamic activity of chemically pure LSD-25 depends on the dose one takes. Those who decide to use LSD-25 should know that the drug is highly active even in minute doses (micrograms). Doses over 100 mcg may cause utter confusion and severe agitation.
Contraband LSD is not sold in vials labelled with the number of micrograms contained in each "dose". Thus, the victims of contraband do not know what amount of LSD they are taking into their system. In addition, because of the crudity of its preparation in illegal chemistry laboratories, contraband LSD contains toxic by-products which are dangerous for the cells.
Young people should also know that contraband traders mix heroin or morphine into their LSD. The purpose of this criminal act is all too clear. As chemically pure LSD-25 never causes addiction, they succeed in expanding their clientele by "hooking" those who originally try it out of curiosity.
PHARMACODYNAMIC ACTIVITY OF LSD-25
§2 30-100 mcg of chemically pure LSD-25 give rise to one or more of the following symptoms and phenomena:
From the neurovegetative system: Dizziness, nausea, vomiting, chills, dyspnoea, mydriasis (dilatation of the pupils) etc. appear 30-60 minutes after the intake of the drug. As a rule, the symptoms are not strong and abate quickly. Their reappearance during the Session is due to excitation of the compact system of rejection (§ 50). (Example R3 p.63) From the psychic sphere: The term 'psychic sphere' includes emotional functions, intellectual functions and so on. The S & P (Symptoms & Phenomena) from the psychic sphere begin about one hour after the intake of LSD-25 and continue for as long as 6-8 or more hours.
After the pharmacodynamic activity of LSD-25 has ceased, the memory of what one experienced in the Session is retained. I believe that one of the most important pharmacodynamic properties of LSD-25 is that it reactivates the memory of the neurons. This results in the revival of the near and distant past as well as states of altered consciousness which are difficult to describe and to classify.
§3 Revival of past experiences Any experience of the past - sensorial, emotional, intellectual and so forth - may be relived vividly. Characteristic and very striking is the emotional and physical 'synchronization' which accompanies the revival of childhood, infancy and foetal life; that is, R feels that his body has assumed the dimensions it had at the time of the revived event and he relives the emotions of that period.
Example: When R8 relived the unpleasant metal taste of the spoon with which her mother had tried to feed her in her infancy (she had refused the breast and the feeding bottle) she felt that her body had the dimensions of a baby and she cried exactly like a baby.
§4 Realization of hypocritical behaviour R's experience as a member of society obliges him to try to consciously hide his real feelings. Thus he gradually develops a system of 'defence' which renders him a hypocrite. LSD-25 may help R liberate himself from social hyprocrisy only if he himself wishes it, that is, LSD-25 will neutralize R's system of 'defence' only if he decides that it will. During a Session, the revelations which come up from the unconscious may shock R to such an extent that he may prefer to inhibit its process by remaining silent without any emotional, mental or physical activity.
Example: An American student once told me that he 'converted' 500 mcg of LSD-25 to water when he began to realize certain unconscious desires inadmissible to him (sexual desire for his mother).
§5 Mental clarity The expansion of R's everyday consciousness results in an amazing mental clarity and heightened capacity for self-observation, self-criticism and introspection which may lead to autopsychognosia. R's mental clarity is accompanied by the symptom of absolute certainty that his psychedelic experience corresponds to a real past situation and that his emotional-intellectual interpretation of his behaviour is correct.
§6 Confusion In contrast to mental clarity is the extreme confusion caused chiefly by large doses of LSD-25 or by chemically impure LSD-25. The bioneurophysiological mechanism of this confusion is the rapid alternation of many reactivated 'memory traces' of various stimuli which had excited the nervous system in the past. The result is a spinning of ideas with a speed which prevents R from following them, accompanied sometimes by psychomotor agitation and hyper-activity.
§7 Detachment of existential identity This is a peculiar, subjective experience which is characterized by the 'exit' of R's existential identity. The existential identity either observes the activity of the body or 'withdraws' from the room where the Session is taking place and is transported to 'worlds' belonging to eras chronologically indefinable (example R12 p. 110).
§8 Subjective sensation of dematerialization of the body This is a subjective experience of the body breaking down to the point where R thinks that he has no body or that he has died (example R10 p.42).
§9 Anxiety-terror R feels severe anxiety which reaches extreme panic and terror. He feels that he is on the point of dying (example R10 p.45).
§10 Perfect serenity In contrast to severe anxiety is a subjective experience which is charaterized by perfect serenity. R3, R12 and R13 described such an experience which accompanied the revival of their intra-uterine life (example R3 p.62).
§11 Reactivation of ancestral memory The memory of R's human ancestors (R10 p.45) or of other ancestors on the zoological scale, which is transmitted through heredity, gives rise to peculiar symptoms when it is reactivated, eg. the reactivation of the memory of R4's winged ancestors (pp.71-72) created in him the absolute conviction that he could fly. (Note: This is one of the reasons why some of those who take psychedelic drugs without medical supervision jump out of windows.)
§12 Total reconciliation with the environment R feels that he is fully reconciled with all forms of matter surrounding him, that he is basically no different to them, and that he can unite with them (descriptions by R4 pp.72-73, R12 p.108).
§13 'Resurrection' of true identity During the Sessions, some cases who belong to the category of the Unwanted, 'discover' and for the first time in their lives feel their existential or sex identity which had been forbidden them by the womb-superpower.
§14 Mystical experiences with religious content (R6 pp.106-107).
§15 Supernatural powers R feels absolutely certain that he has acquired supernatural powers and that he has been raised to super-human levels which allow him to see his blood flowing through his arteries and veins; to prophesy and foresee events; to influence telepathically the thoughts of others or the functioning of machines; to heal his own body or the bodies of other individuals of disease; and so on. After the Sessions, R's attempt at practical application of the 'supernatural' powers he had acquired under LSD-25 prove to him that he had misinterpreted the drug's capabilities.
Note: During Sessions, many an R realized that he possessed gifts which, owing to his psychological problems, had been inhibited to the point where he had been completely ignorant of them. Example: After his sixth Session, R1 felt the need to paint for the first time in his life. He fostered this need by taking painting lessons and attained very satisfactory results, according to art experts.
§16 Alternating certainty and doubt During and in between Sessions, R6 vacillated between absolute certainty and doubt: one moment she was convinced that the psychedelic experience and the realizations which followed it were true and correct and the next moment she was overcome by doubt and wondered whether the whole Session was not just a fantasy.
When R6 had progressed in her autopsychognosia, she confessed that her doubts sprang from an unwillingness to accept her womb rejection - to accept it would have been to accept permanent disability.
§17 Flashback This is a partial revival of a past Session without the intake of LSD-25; that is, the 'memory traces' left in the nervous system by a past experience with LSD-25 may be reactivated automatically without new intake of the psychedelic drug. I always inform those who were about to undergo autopsychognosia sessions of the flashback. Experience showed that doing this did not influence R negatively: on the contrary, it encouraged him to use the flashback as a constructive Session. In any case, R can neutralize a flashback of his own volition or by taking 25 milligrams of chlorpromazine. Example of a flashback which occured 20 days after R4's 13th Session:
"I am sitting in my office in front of the open window. Various thoughts come into my mind. I pursue one which brings vividly to mind the excitation of the senses during the months of spring. It is a feeling of both abandonment and flight. As I look out at the street, I have the feeling that I have to get away, to disappear (all this intellectually but with some emotional element, as happens in everyday life). Suddenly I begin to feel a little pain in the lower jaw and the top on my head (where the forceps left scars). A strong desire to be annihiliated on the spot. Agony suddenly overwhelms me (for several days I had felt it simmering within me). I raise my hands to remove from my mouth threads or tobacco from the cigarette I've been smoking. But there are no threads, no tobacco. The sensation of threads on the palate is like the sensation I experienced in the Session, of water mixed with fibres. A feeling of great insecurity overcomes me. I feel a silent explosion taking place within. I am being cut to pieces (clearly the spasms of my intra-uterine life which, however, with the flashback are not so strong). I am experiencing a clear reactivation of the last Session. This lasts a few moments during which I put my hand to my lips which I feel have been smeared with paste (as in the Session). Then everything subsides. I feel calmer. While the flashback lasted, I didn't want to stop it. It was unpleasant but I accepted it. (I stopped it when I moved from the chair on which I'd been sitting.) The practical result was that that night I slept well, without jerking my feet or grinding my teeth as I often do".